Nine months of harmonious bliss. Nine months of heaven. I put all my eggs into this basket and I just fell and broke them all.
He’s been emailing love letters to two other women (that I know of). Saying things like:
” I have feelings for you on a level I never realized”
“I would wait until the end of time for you, because it would be SO worth it”
“I am and always will be madly in love with you”
Never once has he sent me emails like this. Then he begs me not to leave him. That sending those emails was impulsive and he felt guilty as soon as he did it. That he doens’t know why he does it. That he’s having a mid-life crisis and doesn’t know what’s going on. Begs me to wait this out, that he thinks it’s a passing phase, and I’m the one he wants a future with.
I deserve better. I know it. My heart aches. I feel stupid and ashamed for not walking away immediately. What is wrong with me that I’m willing to put up with this torture?
And the worst part is, I am still so in love with this man who treats me with such disregard.
I feel pathetic and small.
